


sorry for the vehicular sexytimes

by longhairshortfuse



Series: One Shot Wonders [12]
Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Crack, Failed Sex, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-20
Updated: 2015-06-20
Packaged: 2018-04-05 07:43:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4171608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/longhairshortfuse/pseuds/longhairshortfuse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carlos drives Cecil out into the desert with the intention of ticking something off his mental list of things he has never done.<br/>Who would have thought having sex in a car would be so awkward?</p>
            </blockquote>





	sorry for the vehicular sexytimes

**Author's Note:**

> So I did this thing on tumblr where you "find what a fic of ur life would be tagged as on ao3"  
> And I reblogged it with my result.  
> "sorry for the vehicular sexytimes"  
> And then Cosleia asked if I had ever written vehicular sexytimes.  
> And I hadn't.  
> And this happened.

Carlos collected his car from the garage and drove home. It was over a year since he last drove it and a year of sitting out in a parking space in the car park took its toll on the little hybrid coupe. He had to have it towed away and fixed. But now he was reunited with his means of personal transport, Carlos intended to make good use of it.

He waited outside the radio station. Carlos would have left the engine running as a gesture of his impatience, but it cut out automatically whenever he applied the brake for more than a few seconds. When Cecil appeared at the end of his first broadcast back after grovelling to be allowed to retract his resignation, Carlos leaned over and pushed the passenger door open. 

"Hey babe, can I offer you a ride?" Carlos couldn't keep the giggle out of his voice.  
Cecil snorted and got in. "Sure can, handsome! You taking me anywhere special?"  
Carlos smiled and turned to kiss Cecil's cheek. "Sure. Would you come with me on a drive out of town? I guess I missed this desert. I want to go look at some--"  
"Ca-a-arlos? Are you doing sci-ience on our date night?" Cecil mock-frowned and wagged a finger. Carlos shrugged and shook his head.  
"You're right, I will drive us to the Moonlite for coffee and pie then we can just go home."  
Cecil laughed. "It's fine, Carlos, you can do science on our date. I mean, you did science on our first date so you know I don't mind. Can I help?" Cecil lowered his voice. "Maybe I can hold your equipment for you."  
Carlos sniggered. "I predict you can help me reach a satisfactory scientific conclusion." 

Carlos drove out of town on one of the quieter roads. He pulled over a couple of miles out, frowning.  
"Huh. Something doesn't feel right."  
Cecil took his hand. "You miss the other desert? Is that it?"  
"Uh, no, um, I mean with the car. It felt kind of uneven, juddery, then lost power. I got it fixed but there's something wrong still." Carlos fiddled with the ignition but the car didn't start. He popped the hood, got out and looked. Cecil joined him.  
"What do you think is wrong? Can you fix it?"  
Carlos shrugged. "I have no idea how a car actually works. But people on TV always look here if there's a problem so I thought it would be obvious. Maybe it's some kind of distress signal, you know, prop the hood open and someone will stop and fix your car. It worked for that blond man with the broken down truck in the movie we watched the other night, although it seemed a bit unnecessary for the mechanic who stopped to have so much sex with him afterwards."  
Cecil looked sideways at Carlos. "You think? We-e-ell, I guess it's worth a try. This is a real quiet road though. Maybe we should call someone."  
Carlos shrugged and closed the hood. "We could do that. Or we could hang around for half an hour and I'll try to start it again. Maybe I flooded the engine or something." He looked at Cecil. "What do you want to do for half an hour, honey?"

Cecil stared. "What? Out here? Outside? O-o-oh..." Cecil walked backwards, gently but firmly steered by Carlos, until his back touched the passenger side of the car. Carlos leaned against Cecil, sandwiching him against the car. Cecil giggled. "So which of us is going to be the driver in distress and who will be the musclebound mechanic?"  
Carlos leaned forward and kissed Cecil. "Mmm. You can choose. You know I don't mind either way."  
Cecil sniggered. "Mmhmmhmm, you want me to grease your piston ring?"  
Carlos grinned. "I want you to service my big end while I help adjust your power to weight ratio."  
Cecil moved forward, clear of the car, pushing Carlos back a step or two. Carlos brought a blanket out of the back and put it over the passenger seat. Cecil frowned. "How we gonna do this?"  
"Umm," Carlos looked at the space in the compact, economical car's cabin. "Push the seat right back, recline it as far as it goes and get in. Wait..."  
Carlos pulled Cecil into a warm kiss, trailing hands from Cecil's head down his back and over his ass before unfastening Cecil's waistband and pushing down. Cecil stilled Carlos's hands.  
"Not like that honey, these have to kind of peel off they're so close fitting."  
Carlos laughed. "I like the way you look in these. I feel guilty because I should disapprove but..." Carlos stood back a little and looked down at the front of his sensible denims. Cecil followed Carlos's gaze and sniggered.  
"I will definitely wear my leather pants more often if that's the effect they have on you!"  
Carlos felt Cecil's hands work at his clothing then stroke over naked skin of his hips. Cecil pulled Carlos close, letting him feel soft leather rub against his erection. Carlos thrust twice against Cecil's hip. He stopped and laughed.  
"Mmm. But I didn't come all the way out here to... come out here."  
Carlos kicked off his shoes, pulled his jeans and shorts off and tossed them into the driver's seat. He pulled Cecil's leather pants from the waist, turning them inside out and leaving them around Cecil's knees.  
"Get in."

Cecil did as Carlos suggested, pushing the seat right back and reclining it to its limit, which was not far. He lay back, holding his arms up to let Carlos clamber in on top of him. Carlos frowned.  
"Huh. I thought I'd have enough space to bring my legs up higher. Can you scoot down a bit?"  
Carlos tried to rest his knees on the edges of the seat but it was not wide enough. When Cecil slid down, he pushed Carlos's knees off the seat. Carlos reached out to grab hold of whatever was within reach to stop his fall. He landed on his knees in the footwell, banged his back on the dash and his flailing arm earned him a blast from the horn.

"Oh! Carlos, are you okay?" Cecil sat up and leaned over Carlos, kissing his head and rubbing his back. "Did that hurt?"  
"Umm," Carlos winced. "Yes is the answer to both of those questions. I don't think there is enough space for face to face. What if I turn round and sit in your lap?"  
Cecil agreed. "Okay, let's try that."  
Carlos got out of the car and in again, sitting on Cecil's knees and sliding back. Cecil slipped his arms around Carlos's waist. Carlos banged his head on the inside of the car roof once as he sat back against Cecil.  
"Umm, Carlos, sweetie? This feels real nice but I can't move." Cecil protested, pushing at Carlos's hip with one hand.  
Carlos sighed. "Okay, hang on, I'll get out again." He stood beside the small vehicle. "Want to see if the back seat is easier?"

Cecil struggled to put his seat upright again and pull it forward. He slipped off his clogs, stuck his bare feet out and asked Carlos to pull his leather pants off before he tried to get out. Cecil laughed.  
"Uh, Carlos? I don't want to pry into your past but have you ever done this before?"  
Carlos shook his head. "But it should be possible. Others have done it, I should be able to replicate their results. I've seen it on TV so it must be real, right?"  
Cecil looked at the width and depth of the back seat. "I guess if we leave a door open there might be enough space. Is that cheating?"  
Carlos frowned. "My research led me to understand that we should fit with the doors closed but perhaps as a preliminary experiment we should, as you say, leave one of the doors open. The one facing away from the road."  
Cecil grinned. "Okay, you get in first. If you lie on your back can you get your feet up?" Carlos got in and lay back. He braced one foot against the side of the passenger seat, the other on the headrest of the back seat. Cecil crawled in and carefully clambered over Carlos to kiss him.  
"You brought more than just a blanket, right?" Cecil enquired. Carlos smiled.  
"Yeah, glovebox."

Cecil clambered carefully out again and into the front of the car. He brought lube and condoms from the glovebox. As Cecil manoeuvred himself back into the rear of the little car, his hand slipped and the bottle of lube shot out of his grip, rolling under the driver's seat. He groaned. Carlos rolled over to grope under the seat, tipping both of them off the back seat and onto the floor. The car bounced as they thumped to the mats.  
Carlos groaned. "Ugh, I will have a bruise on my lower ribs from the transmission column. Ceece, you know I hate to admit it, but I don't think I can replicate the results I have seen on TV at all."

Cecil helped Carlos out of the car and hugged him. "Oh honey, it's okay. Look, let's get dressed and call someone to tow us back. You can put on one of the movies you mentioned and take notes like a scientist should and we can replicate the result at home? In comfort?"  
Carlos got their clothes from the drivers seat and pulled on his jeans. Cecil struggled back into his leathers. Carlos watched and smiled. "You do look really good in those."  
"Have you seen my phone? I think it fell... oh here it is." Cecil picked up his phone. "Who should I call? The garage where you got it fixed should put it right if they didn't do a good job."  
Carlos shook his head. "I think it will be okay." He got into the drivers seat, turned the key in the ignition and the car started first time.  
Cecil put his hand on Carlos's chin to tilt his head round and make eye contact. "Carlos, was there anything wrong with the car? Anything at all?"  
Carlos put on his very best expression of complete innocence. "I don't know what you mean, babe. I'll take us home. Do you think we maybe need a bigger car?"


End file.
